when I go to the mall I dress up like santa
I am large and I have a beard
I put on a fake pinky and go to the mall
I go to the santa booth and wait in line
the families that are in line look at me like I smell
I have fresh gingerbread cookies in my pockets
I go and sit on santa's lap every year
I have more than twenty pics of grown men dressed as santa
sitting on each other
after I go walking through the stores
and people run up to me and hug me
and tell me how much they love me
they tug my beard and poke my belly I say oh it's real
and I say ho ho ho and tell them I am divorced
I say in real life
I am santa